I went back into the church on Friday to return the church's credit card. There were several cars outside but no one in the main portion of the church. There were several people downstairs building classrooms but they didn't see me. I picked up a Board meeting agenda and walked out. I felt estranged. Odd feeling. It was like I didn't belong any more. Like my experience for the last 9 1/2 years really didn't happen.
I can get logical about the experience and walk myself through it, but it was almost like a blur. Is it time to call Ghost hunters?
Bren is feeling the separation in a different way. She didn't think she would miss the church so quickly. I'm not ready to go back yet. The interim still needs time to do his thing and be the minister.
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I am reading this a little late. But I wanted to say, I understand. I am having a hard time with you not being there too. I am trying NOT to compare, but it is hard. I miss you and Brenda. tons. Hope to "run into" you soon.
ReplyDeleteSorry to be so late to respond - but thanks!
ReplyDelete18 MONTHS AFTER RETIREMENT
ReplyDeleteI went to worship at FCC in Owenton, KY this past Sunday. It was the second time in a month. The first was June 5th for the installation of the new minister.
I must say that fro the first time since I retired I felt reasonably comfortable. There were no expectation and I was greeted ans a returning member rather than the previous minister.
I liked the new minister's style and his sermon. It is very nice not having to be the first person there on a Sunday morning and the last person to leave. I didn't even worry whether the doors would get locked.
FIGHTING RA
ReplyDeleteFor over a year I have been fighting a new enemy. Rheumatoid Arthritis. It has attacked my hands (twice), both knees, both hips, both feet, and my jaw but fortunately not my shoulders.
The "flare ups" as they are called do not seem to have a trigger, something if I could identify i.e.: orange juice, I could avoid. Rather it is random. And very painful, to the point of no movement in hips or other joints.
A complicating factor is I have taken more than my share of the "drug from hell - Prednesone" for my Osteoarthritis and severe Osteoporosis. The Prednesone sucks the calcium out of the bones so it is not good for the lower back which has little bone left.
At first (May 2010) the RA was controlled by a low dose cancer drug - 6 small tablets Methotrexate and 2.5 mg Predesone. That lasted less than a year and then things got wacky.
This past month was been one attack (flare up) after another - every 6 - 7 days until I was driven back to the doctor when the left hand would not function and even trying to get a millisecond without severe pain by stopping breathing was not possible.
Now I am on an inject-able form of the highest dose of Methotrexate for RA + 2.5 mg of Predesone. I hate to think what is next.
My RA doctor is great - compassionate but straight forward and pulls not punches. He told me that all the drugs he has are toxic. Since I am tolerating this max dose of Methotrexate he will monitor me. That means blood work every month to make sure my liver and other functions are not getting out of line.
The pre-caution instructions on this drug are enough to scare anyone into not taking it. But the choice is really no choice. Without it I cannot move and have pain. With it I am able to get around (so far)without pain and feel fairly good.
I know the prognosis is not good for me and especially with the Osteoporosis the future is somewhat bleak.
That said - I have designed a futuristic wheel chair capable of leaving rubber down the street and has all wheel drive so I can get close to the edge of the water to catch a few crappie or get a fantastic photo of a Fish Eagle snagging its prey in its talons and the water splash is stopped with every droplet clear and distinct better than the view finder could ever see as I do have a new toy - a Canon 550D camera - Oh yes - costly but a dream come true and a bucket list priority marked off.